


What a time to be alive!

by FromAshesToStardust



Series: The Calm Before The Storm [1]
Category: Political RPF, Political RPF - UK 20th-21st c.
Genre: 10 downing street, Christmas, Coffee, Dry skin, F/M, London, M/M, Sledding, Snow, The Great British Bake Off, Trolling, dry lips, eton brigade, nerf guns, sledges, theresa may's cabinet, uk cabinet, uk government - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 05:19:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8736361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FromAshesToStardust/pseuds/FromAshesToStardust
Summary: Requested on Tumblr by @zahra970Theresa and Philip venture out into snow-ridden London.





	

“Look, Philip! It's snowing outside!” beamed Theresa as she gawked like a small child out of the window. It hadn't snowed in London for years, which was mostly down to global warming, but now that the colder air masses had finally won their battles, the snow had returned – and it wasn't holding back!

Philip sped over to the window, it's edges rusted from years of relentless torment from the outside elements. He leapt up with sheer delight as he saw the snowflakes carpeting the murky streets outside.

The couple exchanged excited glances, the prospect of reliving their youths invoking great happiness in their eyes. Hands entwined, they raced over to the front door, frantically dressing themselves in winter attire, and pranced out into the icy breeze.

 

* * *

 

 

Philip carelessly raced into the frozen streets of London, precariously skating on a layer of black ice.

“Philip!” Theresa giggled, catching her infantile lover in her arms “Be careful, darling!”. Grateful, Philip wrapped his shaken arms around her neck and gently pecked her on the cheek.

“Thank you, dear”. But before you could say 'my wife is the Prime Minister', Theresa shoved a pact of snow down Philip's coat, inducing him to painful shivers.

“T-t-t-theresa..” he shuddered. But Theresa just stood there and giggled.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hello Theresa!” beamed Nick Clegg as he and Tim Farron trudged down the streets with their sledge “and Philip!”

“Good morning, Cleggy” Theresa remarked, nodding her head as they went by.

“Has the House of Commons closed for a snow day or something?” questioned Philip, scratching his head.

“Philip, it's probably not recommended that you compare the House of Commons to primary school!”

“I mean, you lot can be a bit...well....”

“What?”

“...um...”

“Go on”

“...childish”

“We're politicians, Philip!” she protested “We are civilised and highly intelligent individuals”

“But everyone bullies everyone and-”

“Philip”. Before Theresa could put forward her case, the couple could see Ed Miliband and Alex Salmond being forced to heave the Eton Brigade on sledges. Cameron held a whip straight out of Fifty Shade of Grey in his grasp and was yelling profanities at the two exhausted MPs.

“INDEPENDENT, MY ARSE, ALEX” David yelled, provoking a lone tear to trickle down Alex's bare cheek.

“Leave him alone, David” Miliband protested to a sudden whip on his inner thigh.

“Hurry up, peasants! We haven't got all day!”

“Theresa...” begged Ed as he saw her and her husband in his weary vision “tell them to stop!”

“Please!” pleaded Alex “I'll even tell Nicola tae-”

“Fine!” she sighed, to the gurns of Cameron, Osborne and Johnson.

“Theresa! Don't betray us like this!”

“It's only fair, David” Theresa asserted, hurrying over to untie them “Besides, this isn't primary school!”. Philip winked.

“Fine”. The Eton Brigade sulked, reluctantly stumbling up off their sledges.

“Oh, David! Clegg went along that way about 2 minutes ago!” said Philip, pointing in the direction that he and his wife had just come from.

“Oh my god”. David stopped in his tracks, eyes widening.

“CLEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGYYYYYY!” he howled “MY LOVE! WE MUST FIND HIM!”. And so the trio shot off north, 2 of them mildly confused.

Philip nodded in the way of Alex and Ed.

“Have a great day, lads”

“You too” they replied in unison, making their way back to the HoC. What a day it had been! And it had only just begun!

 

* * *

 

 

Theresa and Philip sat down in the park, warm coffee in hand - both could vividly feel their blood rushing back to their numb fingers. Philip snuggled into Theresa's neck, resting his eyes as he leant in; Theresa locked her right arm around his waist, pulling him in tighter. Tenderly, she planted a heartfelt kiss on his forehead, much to his delight.

“I've missed this” commented Philip, taking in the magnificent view of the glittering park.

“I've missed this too”.

 

* * *

 

 

The duo got home and snuggled down together on the sofa, smothered in heavy blankets and warm fleeces, intently watching the 2015 Christmas Special of the Great British Bake Off. The fire crackled, it's fierce blaze radiating heat throughout the badly insulated room. Philip ran his hand through Theresa's silver hair, taking his time to massage her scalp.

And then at last, they kissed. Chapped lips upon chapped lips. Tongues tangoing in perfect unison. Dry hands massaging one another's wintry cheeks. Philip's arms, which were gently wrapped around Theresa's waist, tightened, bringing her chilled body closer to his. Chapped lips upon chapped lips. Bitter chest upon bitter chest.

The front door slammed open.

“THIS IS THE HOME OFFICE, WE HAVE THIS PLACE SURROUNDED!” Amber Rudd yelled, firing foam bullets from her nerf gun “PUT YOUR WEAPONS DOWN AND MAKE WAY FOR....”

“....CHRIIIIIIISTTTTTTTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS” her cabinet yelled, erupting from every cabinet and corner in 10 Downing Street.

“Oh dear, I must've left the door open!” she whispered to Philip.

“Never mind!”. And so Theresa's cabinet poured into her apartment, draped in tinsel and blaring festive pop songs. Theresa and Philip just giggled at each other. What a time to be alive!

 


End file.
